Friday, April 29, 2011

Love/Hate The $ Store

As I was driving to work, trying to hold in the 247823468236483 sneeze of the morning it hit me... I know EXACTLY where this cold came from....

It happened a few days ago, I decided to venture into unknown waters, wanting to see what a whole new world was like, after all I do love exploring... So I hit up... wait for it... the Dollar Store! Sick Business, right? (okay, okay, it's no crazy jungle like the Amazon Rainforest, but still... there were all walks of life in this place!)

So yeah, the second I parked in the lot, I knew this was going to be a crazy experience and really, crazy is a calm word to use for the mass crowds running around the store as if they were all stocking their bomb shelters for fear that a bomb were to hit at any second (oh shit, did I just jinx something?)...

As for myself, I mosied along the aisles taking in the sights of brand name products being sold at one FLIPPING dollar! How on earth is this possible? It doesn't make any sense... and why don't more people shop at these stores. Actually I take that back, I really don't need to have a stampede of people coming at me as I pick up the *gasp* last extra large, vanilla scented body lotion the store has... I just want to shop with peace.

During my little wandering spree (Oh Emily, how I wish you were there with me), I couldn't help but have a thought in the back of my mind... that the store was filthy. Every thing that I touched, I knew I was introducing some sort of bacteria onto my body... but I just couldn't care enough because I mean... Tide, Colgate, Tresemee, Earth Bound Organics... ALL AT ONE DOLLAR - Screw the germs, I am going in!

I walked out of that store... $8 down on two dish soap bottles, a few energy drinks (guilty pleasure), a cute little fake flower arrangment, hand soap and body wash. Eight bucks, really?!?!?! Little did I know, I picked up one other thing on the way out too... this ridiculous head cold I now have.

So the moral of this story? Screw it, go in for the "kill" save yourself a few bucks and purchase all your necessities at a dollar store, BUT beware!!! You might want to pick up some cold medication when you're there too...

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Eating out

It's almost time to stuff my face just as much as this girl!

Seriously, I can eat this chick under the table!

OH BOY did that sound wrong or what! Honest, I am no rug muncher, I just munch FOOD and lots of it!

The reason why I am bring it up? Because my dad flew into LA yesterday evening so that he could have dinner with me tonight! Obviously my love for food and eating is genetic, ha ha.

Although... in terms of how much I eat, that's just me because I constantly amaze my parents about how much I stuff in my face. Oh but they're not the only ones who are in awe as I eat my 5th pound of salmon... or my ninth bucket (and I am talking horse feed bucket) filled with spinach!

Every single time I go out to eat I always ask the server how much will be served in the main dish and he or she always cocks their head and says, "oh don't worry, there will certainly be enough for you". Yes, I understand that I might look like a little girl, but check out my mouth, it's huge! (I can stick my fist in it, wo wo)...

Oh and you wanna know what happens when my entree gets to the table? I look at it a little disappointed because it's really a measly portion... wolf it and order a second one for dessert... I limit myself to two meals though because my wallet doesn't exactly have as big of an appetite as I do.

What I love is that my dad is obsessed with food and willing to shell out the big bucks so as to please my tummy... and tonight certainly won't disappoint.

Oh all you fishies out there... I hope your shaking in your... scales? You should be more terrified of me than a damn shark, I am telling you!


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wolfie Wasn't Made to Pole Dance

No, Wolfie really wasn't made to pole dance and actually... he wasn't made to do anything in the exotic dancing department.

Wolfie is from a small town in Wyoming and his dream was to travel all around the west coast exploring and his dream did come true earlier this year... Colorado, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico and then California.

Unfortunately since landing in LA, he's only been traveling in a 10 mile radius and doesn't want to go any further because the traffic is quite intimidating and daunting at times. At the same time, he doesn't want to go home either because his neighbors encroach on his territory ALL THE TIME and they're not exactly the friendliest... ("Damn cab ass sticking out" - this is how Wolfie describes his neighbors)!

He knows that if he doesn't get out though he is just going to wind up pole dancing for the rest of his life because he doesn't think he is good enough to pursue anything else. (And getting a job in something more legit is rather difficult).

It's a little bit sad but at the same time I am not exactly telling him to do something different because I happen to really love LA and don't plan on leaving for quite some time.

I guess he is just going to have to suck it up... be the BEST DAMN POLE DANCER YOU CAN BE WOLFIE... I mean, common now, you already have the perfect name for the job!

Oh and by the way... Wolfie is my car and has been molested by all the ridiculous poles in parking lots, garages, etc around LA. Tee He He!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

GiGi Sandwich

I am exhausted today (actually that's probably a lie, I have been more exhausted before... I think I am just kind of bored)... regardless this causes my brain to cloud over and have a bit of writers block in terms of me writing a post. All I am thinking about is crawling back into bed...

Would you like fries with that nap?

Hm, if I were a deli meat... I wonder what I would be?! What would you be?

Monday, April 25, 2011


I just looked down at this piece of paper and it said "rocking"... While that is a staple word in my vocabulary I couldn't help but think about all things that have come to mind when I think about rocking... so here goes.

- Rocking Chair
- Rocks
- Boulders
- Sail Boats
- Titanic
- Partying
- Elephants (not Easter elephant though)
- Pebbles
- Supporting (wearing)
- Rocky Mountains
- Rock Climbing
- White Water Rafting
- Bum Lip
- Crows (the Aesop fable with the pebbles and the water!)
- Bling Bling
- Rocket

Now when I voiced this word to the crowd... here are some words that came to their mind:
- Horse
- Dancing
- Concert
- Chair/Rocking Chair
- Bye Baby
- Bodies
- Back & Forth
- Dementia
- Socks
- Dreidel

And what did GOOGLE think of when I asked him what he thinks of when he thinks of rocking?

What do you think of? Let me know!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Elephant!

So I went to the ZOO today and look at what I found?

His dream has always been to become an Easter Elephant. Looks like he is headed in that direction!

Would you eat his trunk first?

I wonder why his mouth is open...

Disclaimer: I didn't actually go to the ZOO today, FYI... Closed for Easter, who knew the animals celebrated this holiday!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dancing Chihuahuas

I was driving around earlier today and at an intersection I saw two Chihuahuas and some other mangy mutt going to TOWN... and actually thought to myself (while hysterically laughing considering I grew up and still own a few German Shepherds)... "cat fight"? Then I thought... I wonder what those little rats are THINKING right now.

Dog on Left: I want a dog biscuit... I need a dog biscuit... I am going through withdrawal!
Dog on Right: Holy shit, you look like a possessed Easter Bunny.

See asshole, we're not meant to wear clothes!

I am going to kung-fu the next Doberman that tries to eat me.
Bondage puppy?

Do I look like I would be able to save someone from a burning building? In about 5 seconds I am going to rip this FLIPPING RIDICULOUS outfit off and shove it down your throat... 5...4...

DOG ON LEFT: Aw man, get the hell off of me, you smell like the shit I took earlier today.
DOG ON RIGHT: I want pancakes.


That's right, you only wish you had as nice of a head of hair as I do. Oh wait, you do... since I stole it from your bedroom.

If this doesn't scare away all the bullies at the dog park, I am going to become a cat and stay inside forever.


Seriously... I AM NO GOOD WITH TECHNOLOGY!!!!! And all it's advancements are just moving too damn fast for me!

Oh and what's worst is that I am COMPLETELY obsessed with it so when shit hits the fan (ie: something doesn't work)... I have a slight (yeah right, more like BALLS TO THE WALLS) panic attack!

Obviously my internet is working right now because I am... (AHEM) on the damn computer right (almost types WRITE... sweet) now, but it wasn't earlier and I was THISCLOSE to throwing my computer out the window and marching my ass on over to where ever Time Warner Cable's main HUB is and giving them a piece of my fed-up-bitchy mind! (I have a feeling they would say, "please wait in line" which makes NO SENSE considering they seem to have ALL THE FREE TIME IN THE WORLD TO CALL ME AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIMES, don't ask, TRYING TO CONVINCE ME I NEED A SECOND LAND LINE PHONE NUMBER EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE EVEN ONE TO BEGIN WITH!)

When shit doesn't go the way I want it, I get angry! ha ha, but then again who doesn't?

I remember when I poured tea all over my computer and it's screen turned black. I fell to the floor in tears like one of my family members had passed away! Seriously, Niagara Falls was coming out of my face! So sad, but honestly, these days our entire lives are on our computers, blackberrys, iphones (my god, I am ridiculous I initially wrote EYE phone... it's obviously Saturday), etc and if our technology breaks, we are completely disconnected to the life around us!

The other day I was reading a forwarded e-mail about someone's blackberry not working and there must have been about 20 responses to aid her in her pursuit to "cure" her blackberry! (I wonder if there will ever be a phone created and called... Banana)

See, everyone is obsessed (PHEW - I am not the only one)... I am pretty sure you have ALL had your technology freak outs, so DON'T YOU DARE think I am a "freak" for crying when I essentially murdered my computer and for my tiny panic attack this morning!

Friday, April 22, 2011

My thoughts on LiLo

Lindsey Lohan is a BUFFOON.

Yup, I said it.

Tuna Fish Salad

What's that smell wafting through my nose right now... is it tuna salad, heavy on the mayo?...

Yes, yes, I do believe that's what it is. Well I cannot say I am enjoying that stench mixed with burnt coffee considering it's 10:30 a.m. but it does bring back memories...

When I was in 4th grade my mom thought she was trying to be nice by packing me lunch for school every day, little did she know she was actually torturing me worse than the torture that goes down in prison cells.

My mom would pack me... EZEKIEL BAGELS smeared with tuna and gross mayonnaise (not even the full fat kind, WTF). When I brought that brown bag of "humiliation" to school with me, I always set it far from my belongings because I didn't want ANYONE to know it was mine... but of course, they would find out sooner or later when I toted the bag (that was starting to leak tuna juices) with me to the cafeteria.

**Curious about the taste? Smear cardboard with mayonnaise - let me know how that goes!

Now while I hate wasting food, I certainly wasn't about to be caught DEAD eating that damn bagel. I mean common, tuna on a gross sprouted grain bagel - was my mom trying to make me the outcast!?!?!?!

So you know what I did with that "hippie" lunch? Tossed it in the trash can! (if only I was more creative when I was little, I mean I could have gone to the roof of the school and chucked pieces at people I didn't like or something) But I am actually surprised the trash accepted it, I am now envisioning the trash rejecting it, the sandwich flying into the air and bursting like a firecracker... and showering tuna bits all over my fellow students - Oh man, if only that really happened.

(Yeah, that's cat food but really the same thing as canned tuna)

Any ways, so yea... after tossing it out, I would mooch off of my friends. I mean their parents were cool, actual bagels with cream cheese, pp&j, popcorn... scrumptious kid foods, DUH! But eventually the teachers caught on to my food wasting behavior and made me... eat in their one of their classrooms under their watchful eye.

That was one socially fatal lunch! Let's just say when I went to a different school in 6th grade, I signed up for the cafeteria meal plan and rebelled against my mother... 6 sugar cookies and a strawberry shortcake ice cream EVERY SINGLE DAY!

(Quite possibly the most scrumptious sustenance to ever touch your tongue!)

BAH HA HA HA! Oh what a "lovely" flash back... It's FLASH BACK FRIDAY! TOP NOTCH.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Work It!

E! Rocks

Hollywood Rocks

Life Rocks

I cannot get over how great it is to be out in LA. Seriously people, if you have dreams of moving somewhere, JUST DO IT! You have to get it out of your system (unless of course it works out for you, then WORK THAT SYSTEM).

I moved out here in January and I seriously think it has been the best decision of my life so far. I have wanted to move to LA since I... oh you know, popped out of the womb! And finally, after 23 years of telling every single person that I meet that I am going to move there, I UP AND DID IT! Now it's just time to make a name for myself! WORK IT! WORK IT!

(So many people may want the same thing as you... you just have to some how stand out from the crowd!)

Damn Tooth Fairy

I feel like I got my wisdom teeth pulled again.

Is that possible? Maybe I just have SO MUCH wisdom that a second set grew in my mouth and last night the tooth fairy decided she was jealous of my wisdom and decided to rip them out of my mouth while I was sleeping like a rock... or maybe she drugged me? Well she could have left me some pain pills under my pillow this morning because whoa dude...

Actually though, I know what it is from. I bit my cheek HARD CORE... I think two days ago, and now it feels like a freakin' mountain has grown on the inside of my mouth. I swear my speech is being affected by this ginormous mound that has taken up residency.

And no people, I know what some of you are all thinking. I do not have HERPES. So you can stop all those, "Oh my god, GiGi is infested" or "Ew, I don't want to know what has been going on in GiGi's mouth" comments swarming around your head right now. I just happen to have the jaws of LIFE in my mouth and got a little too into eating some food (or maybe it was chewing my beloved Orbit)...

Pretty much the moral of the story is... DO NOT PISS ME OFF OR I WILL BITE YOU.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Shout Outs!

So I have a couple shout outs to give right now...

#1 Shout Out: Melissa Kaskel's FINGER! If it weren't for her amazing finger landing on my second shout out's name... we wouldn't have gotten our head shots taken from a remarkably inexpensive, yet dedicated and awesome woman!

(No, not Melissa's FINGER... but, if the picture was expanded, you'd see it!)

#2 Shout Out: Linda Vanoff! You rock my world... although slightly premature (ha ha, premature... yea, that's not actually how I am referring to that term in this context, thanks dirty mind), I love this woman! I haven't actually seen the pictures she took of Melissa and I but next week I will give you all the full report! All I can say is that if I need a mom out here in LA, this is my go-to!

#3 Shout Out: Armen Atoyan! Um, yea, so I just spelled out your last name... it's kinda weird. And when you just use your initials it's AA... Hmmm.... but yea, I know you're not in AA... Any ways, the reason why I am shouting out to you is because you need to GET OUT OF YOUR FUNK ASAP! I told you that I would snap you out of it, so here is my minor first attempt... don't make me smack you, ha ha - Oh I would never!

Alright, that is all - if you want a shout out, DO SOMETHING STUNNINGLY MAJESTIC!

I'm High!

I am already celebrating 4-20! (Ha, sorry to disappoint all those who have been up since 4:20 a.m... I know, I started celebrating late!)

I am so high right now! Damn, I just indulged in my munchie cravings with a huge breakfast. (Hm, I think I even have some food in my teeth, delish - snack for later!)

No, no, no.... I am not that kind of high, I am high off of endorphins!

Common now, I know you're all thinking about toking up a blunt right now, but no I did not "wake and bake". Instead, I awoke and worked out! Now that is one high that's incredibly addicting... all of you should follow suit!

That's some top-notch, sick business right there! Seriously sweat-tastic... Well that's what being "high" does to ya!

(These rock stars get the job done!)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Ow! My shoulders are still burnt from Sunday's unknown roast fest - LOVELY... and no, I don't tan so I don't have anything to look forward to. Any ways... enough about my tomato-red shoulders.

Why does life absolutely rock?

Just had a fabulous meeting with Ben Lyons. He was very informative, down to earth and just plain awesome, didn't really expect anything less to be completely honest!

Whenever I am within sight of the E! buildings or walking on their ground, I just get this "cloud nine" feeling.

Is it possible to be in love with a building/network?

If I could marry it, I think I would be on one knee right now. Actually I probably would have been on one knee in uh, January when I started interning there! Luckily I get to stay through the summer, work my magic and who knows what may come. Perhaps the proposal will be the other way around? And while I have always said I am NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE - shit, in this case: I am already picking out my wedding dress!

(Glamorous, no? ha ha - I think the construction cones really accentuate the stunning structure!)

The birth of Dubagee!

(Stephanie & GiGi [that's me] being super professional @ work! Oh and we will be the two faces of the entertainment world - VERY soon!)


This blog is where I discuss with myself (and maybe if you decide to follow my blog, you too) the weird, kooky, boring, stunning, stupendous, awesome, ridiculous, fascinating and outstanding crap that goes on in my life and in my head!

This is TOP-NOTCH, Sick Business, right??

That's what I thought!