Come On Over... Come On Over Baby!

WOW!

I haven't updated this blog in years... Clearly - LOOK AT THE TIME STAMP... But I have to say, I have been re-reading what I wrote and BAH HA HA HA HA! What in the hell was going through my Narnia-like mind? Well, clearly a lot!

The reason for my absence is actually because I started another blog: http://gigieatscelebrities.com

I gnaw on celebrities, day and night. It's a full time job. Luckily, all of this eating hasn't led to a huge spike in my weight, ha!

So if you're curious to see what Ryan Gosling, Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson and... Lindsey Lohan taste like (LiLo tastes like a mix between septic tank water, cigarette butts and octopus), then head on over to where I currently reside!

But hey, if you'd rather kick it here, read over my previous posts, go for it! And if you think I should continue to blog here as well, well then, BEG ME! 

(Or just tempt me with a juicy piece of salmon belly, that generally does the trick)!

L.A. LeapFrogging

NEWEST TV SHOW! Check it out... Episodes coming every Wednesday starting June 1st... meaning tomorrow is the PREMIERE!

L.A. LeapFrogging

Reality Show Bonanza!

SERIOUSLY - there are about 5 billion reality shows about absolutely everything (or NOTHING - when you think about it) these days...

- Shows about whiny teenagers (The Hills, Laguna Beach, 16 and Pregnant, etc -- all MTV shows?)
- Shows about people losing weight (Biggest Loser, Work out, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, etc)
- Shows about people finding love (Bachelor, Bachelorette, Love in the Wild, etc)
- Shows about people risking their lives by performing ridiculous stunts (Big Brother, Survivor, etc)
- Shows about being stranded on deserted islands (Same as above + more)
- Shows about being rich (Real Housewives...)
- Shows about plastic surgery (Real Housewives...)
- Shows about celebrity lives (Um, really Paris, another show coming out about your life? The Simple Life was pretty hysterical - but I think Nicole is what made it funny... OKAY FINE I will watch an episode only because you told me I was really pretty when I met you!)
- Shows about.... yeah you get it!

Well yesterday I went hiking in Malibu with a guided tour (HIKES & BIKES LA)... and well, we (my mother and I... and of course the guide) were filmed for a reality show. Ha! Really, a reality show about hiking?

Actually, I am not entirely sure the show was 100% hiking cause that would be more dull than staring at a pile of shit... I actually think the show has something to do with starting a new company and wanting it to EXPLODE into the next "big thing" in outdoor sports and what not.

Any ways, it was fun filming, I was totally down with it (because I secretly want a reality show all to myself! ha ha ha ha) and I totally whooped my mom's ass (and this other dude... yeah, just envision another dude... you get it) when we had to climb up this FEROCIOUS sand dune five times. BOOO YA - My cardio for 2 hours a day comes in handy!! Screw all of you who think I am a complete nut job -HA HA, just kidding - cause I totally am!

So when will this be airing and on what network? Well apparently it will be on BRAVO this FALL but I will certainly keep you posted as the air date nears....

Hm, could I put this on my resume as experience? ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The Great Rift Valley in the US

So the other day I was looking in the mirror (wait, I do that everyday, duh!) and I couldn't help but notice this SEXY... yes very sexy wrinkle on my forehead. Just popped in to say "hey!"

But wait, it's not leaving, so yeah, it has taken up residence... it now no longer looks sexy.

Considering I want to get into TV hosting and be plastered (ha, nice verb for the subject matter, right?) on posters, magazine, TV screens, etc (yeah, I know airbrushing can take care of this effing Great Rift Valley on my forehead) I thought... "hm, what about botox? I mean I am almost 24... and starlets these days are getting it done as young as age 14," yeah I am looking at you... Hillary Duff - I know your secrets!

I explained my "FIASCO" to my mother but she of course told me to wait... she hasn't seen me in almost 5 months so really she has no idea how much this bad boy (I would spank you if I could?) has grown.




But how on earth can I wait now after reading that a damn EIGHT YEAR OLD had botox!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's just ridiculous, I AM SORRY... Actually no, I am not sorry because blimey (dipping into some British lingo, yes) that is just preposterous! (ha ha, had to continue). Apparently we are never too young to mess with our looks although this story has made me come to the conclusion that I don't want to alter my face. I happen to like my nose. Ha.

I have to be frank though... I have actually never really had the desire to EVER get botox, it was more of a joke than anything... I mean when the time comes MAYBE but right now, nah, gotta flaunt what I have got... and I mean, I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Africa, so having a little bit of it on my forehead is almost as if I am there (when I close my eyes I see Rafiki and Mufasa!).

An Ode To Billy Madison

*Disclaimer: I do drop the F-Bomb! My bad... It's just part of the daily vocab!

*PS: To Armen, I promise I will NEVER EVER EVER make videos like this again! ha ha ha ha... AKA: I will flip my phone vertical so there will be no more BLACK!

Hair-Raising!

So this might sound gross (but I don't effin' care)... and I promise I am going to take a shower after I write this post (mmm, shower!), but I haven't washed my hair since... FRIDAY! Now doesn't that sound delicious! I read somewhere that it's good not to wash your hair every day so yea, that's my excuse!

My hair is pretty gnarley right now though, oily and shit... probably could be formed into any of these crazy (and SEXY might I add?) dos!!

 (Rudolph comes early this year!)

 (Celebrating the fact that I am getting a new puppy!)

 (Hey, I am still a Wyoming girl at heart - perhaps if I encountered a bear she/he would think I were its cub!)

 (I no longer need to go on my African safari!)

 (Is that a Walrus... Sea Otter, Sabertooth tiger? Why haven't runway models been sporting this look?)

 

 (That do sort of looks like... fill in the blank! ha ha ha!)

(Holy Shit, best look ever! Giraffe's effin' rock! Emily & I would rock these bad boys every day!)

You know what? Now that I look at these, eff taking a shower. I am going to mold my slick hair into one of these ferocious animals! Which one should I rock?!?! Which one would YOU want to sport?

"Never" Felt Worse

 

(When I went to Santa Monica I got my portrait drawn!)

Yup. I am sitting here mid-day in my apartment wrapped in about 4 soft as mink fir (mmm, mink fir) blankets watching TV as the sun shines outside and makes all the sexy bodies (and um, not so sexy... I am talking to you purple speedo!) laying out at the pool tan...

Still sick.

Earlier I was thinking, "ugh I have never felt worse" but WTF am I thinking, of course I have felt worse. It's funny when we all get sick. We all finally think in the NOW and think about how crappy we feel (without remembering what prior sicknesses were like).

All I know is that after I said, "ew I have never felt worse" I definitely retracted that statement because shit, I certainly HAVE! I mean, hello cecal volvulus!

So now I am going to think... just another cold. It will go soon enough and I will be back to normal. But for now, I am going to go back to my TV watching (GASP - I don't DO THIS DURING THE DAY!!!) and oh baby, it's getting sexy on screen, clothes are coming off... and NO I am not watching porn!

GiGi, PRETEND that it's pouring outside... maybe a blizzard. Yeah, in LA - sweet.

Eating out

It's almost time to stuff my face just as much as this girl!

Seriously, I can eat this chick under the table!

OH BOY did that sound wrong or what! Honest, I am no rug muncher, I just munch FOOD and lots of it!

The reason why I am bring it up? Because my dad flew into LA yesterday evening so that he could have dinner with me tonight! Obviously my love for food and eating is genetic, ha ha.

Although... in terms of how much I eat, that's just me because I constantly amaze my parents about how much I stuff in my face. Oh but they're not the only ones who are in awe as I eat my 5th pound of salmon... or my ninth bucket (and I am talking horse feed bucket) filled with spinach!

Every single time I go out to eat I always ask the server how much will be served in the main dish and he or she always cocks their head and says, "oh don't worry, there will certainly be enough for you". Yes, I understand that I might look like a little girl, but check out my mouth, it's huge! (I can stick my fist in it, wo wo)...

Oh and you wanna know what happens when my entree gets to the table? I look at it a little disappointed because it's really a measly portion... wolf it and order a second one for dessert... I limit myself to two meals though because my wallet doesn't exactly have as big of an appetite as I do.

What I love is that my dad is obsessed with food and willing to shell out the big bucks so as to please my tummy... and tonight certainly won't disappoint.

Oh all you fishies out there... I hope your shaking in your... scales? You should be more terrified of me than a damn shark, I am telling you!

ROAR!

Tuna Fish Salad

What's that smell wafting through my nose right now... is it tuna salad, heavy on the mayo?...


Yes, yes, I do believe that's what it is. Well I cannot say I am enjoying that stench mixed with burnt coffee considering it's 10:30 a.m. but it does bring back memories...


When I was in 4th grade my mom thought she was trying to be nice by packing me lunch for school every day, little did she know she was actually torturing me worse than the torture that goes down in prison cells.


My mom would pack me... EZEKIEL BAGELS smeared with tuna and gross mayonnaise (not even the full fat kind, WTF). When I brought that brown bag of "humiliation" to school with me, I always set it far from my belongings because I didn't want ANYONE to know it was mine... but of course, they would find out sooner or later when I toted the bag (that was starting to leak tuna juices) with me to the cafeteria.




**Curious about the taste? Smear cardboard with mayonnaise - let me know how that goes!


Now while I hate wasting food, I certainly wasn't about to be caught DEAD eating that damn bagel. I mean common, tuna on a gross sprouted grain bagel - was my mom trying to make me the outcast!?!?!?!


So you know what I did with that "hippie" lunch? Tossed it in the trash can! (if only I was more creative when I was little, I mean I could have gone to the roof of the school and chucked pieces at people I didn't like or something) But I am actually surprised the trash accepted it, I am now envisioning the trash rejecting it, the sandwich flying into the air and bursting like a firecracker... and showering tuna bits all over my fellow students - Oh man, if only that really happened.

(Yeah, that's cat food but really the same thing as canned tuna)

Any ways, so yea... after tossing it out, I would mooch off of my friends. I mean their parents were cool, actual bagels with cream cheese, pp&j, popcorn... scrumptious kid foods, DUH! But eventually the teachers caught on to my food wasting behavior and made me... eat in their one of their classrooms under their watchful eye.


That was one socially fatal lunch! Let's just say when I went to a different school in 6th grade, I signed up for the cafeteria meal plan and rebelled against my mother... 6 sugar cookies and a strawberry shortcake ice cream EVERY SINGLE DAY!

(Quite possibly the most scrumptious sustenance to ever touch your tongue!)

BAH HA HA HA! Oh what a "lovely" flash back... It's FLASH BACK FRIDAY! TOP NOTCH.

Damn Tooth Fairy

I feel like I got my wisdom teeth pulled again.


Is that possible? Maybe I just have SO MUCH wisdom that a second set grew in my mouth and last night the tooth fairy decided she was jealous of my wisdom and decided to rip them out of my mouth while I was sleeping like a rock... or maybe she drugged me? Well she could have left me some pain pills under my pillow this morning because whoa dude...


Actually though, I know what it is from. I bit my cheek HARD CORE... I think two days ago, and now it feels like a freakin' mountain has grown on the inside of my mouth. I swear my speech is being affected by this ginormous mound that has taken up residency.


And no people, I know what some of you are all thinking. I do not have HERPES. So you can stop all those, "Oh my god, GiGi is infested" or "Ew, I don't want to know what has been going on in GiGi's mouth" comments swarming around your head right now. I just happen to have the jaws of LIFE in my mouth and got a little too into eating some food (or maybe it was chewing my beloved Orbit)...


Pretty much the moral of the story is... DO NOT PISS ME OFF OR I WILL BITE YOU.

I'm High!

I am already celebrating 4-20! (Ha, sorry to disappoint all those who have been up since 4:20 a.m... I know, I started celebrating late!)


I am so high right now! Damn, I just indulged in my munchie cravings with a huge breakfast. (Hm, I think I even have some food in my teeth, delish - snack for later!)


No, no, no.... I am not that kind of high, I am high off of endorphins!


Common now, I know you're all thinking about toking up a blunt right now, but no I did not "wake and bake". Instead, I awoke and worked out! Now that is one high that's incredibly addicting... all of you should follow suit!


That's some top-notch, sick business right there! Seriously sweat-tastic... Well that's what being "high" does to ya!

(These rock stars get the job done!)

The birth of Dubagee!

(Stephanie & GiGi [that's me] being super professional @ work! Oh and we will be the two faces of the entertainment world - VERY soon!)

WELCOME TO DUBAGEE!

This blog is where I discuss with myself (and maybe if you decide to follow my blog, you too) the weird, kooky, boring, stunning, stupendous, awesome, ridiculous, fascinating and outstanding crap that goes on in my life and in my head!


This is TOP-NOTCH, Sick Business, right??


That's what I thought!