Reality Show Bonanza!

SERIOUSLY - there are about 5 billion reality shows about absolutely everything (or NOTHING - when you think about it) these days...

- Shows about whiny teenagers (The Hills, Laguna Beach, 16 and Pregnant, etc -- all MTV shows?)
- Shows about people losing weight (Biggest Loser, Work out, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, etc)
- Shows about people finding love (Bachelor, Bachelorette, Love in the Wild, etc)
- Shows about people risking their lives by performing ridiculous stunts (Big Brother, Survivor, etc)
- Shows about being stranded on deserted islands (Same as above + more)
- Shows about being rich (Real Housewives...)
- Shows about plastic surgery (Real Housewives...)
- Shows about celebrity lives (Um, really Paris, another show coming out about your life? The Simple Life was pretty hysterical - but I think Nicole is what made it funny... OKAY FINE I will watch an episode only because you told me I was really pretty when I met you!)
- Shows about.... yeah you get it!

Well yesterday I went hiking in Malibu with a guided tour (HIKES & BIKES LA)... and well, we (my mother and I... and of course the guide) were filmed for a reality show. Ha! Really, a reality show about hiking?

Actually, I am not entirely sure the show was 100% hiking cause that would be more dull than staring at a pile of shit... I actually think the show has something to do with starting a new company and wanting it to EXPLODE into the next "big thing" in outdoor sports and what not.

Any ways, it was fun filming, I was totally down with it (because I secretly want a reality show all to myself! ha ha ha ha) and I totally whooped my mom's ass (and this other dude... yeah, just envision another dude... you get it) when we had to climb up this FEROCIOUS sand dune five times. BOOO YA - My cardio for 2 hours a day comes in handy!! Screw all of you who think I am a complete nut job -HA HA, just kidding - cause I totally am!

So when will this be airing and on what network? Well apparently it will be on BRAVO this FALL but I will certainly keep you posted as the air date nears....

Hm, could I put this on my resume as experience? ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Car Dance

I LOOK LIKE A FROG! RIBBIT! 

*Disclaimer: If you are not a fan of loud music, high energy, techno type music, Ford Explorers and a chick making a fool of herself, then do not watch these movies. Also, no one was hurt in the making of these films (I didn't even strain my neck or anything!)

I am sorry but I have to occupy myself SOME HOW when I am driving through massive amounts of traffic!


*Armen, mid way through video # 2 I remembered your tip of turning the phone horizontal! ha ha, WHOOPS! 

Love/Hate The $ Store

As I was driving to work, trying to hold in the 247823468236483 sneeze of the morning it hit me... I know EXACTLY where this cold came from....

It happened a few days ago, I decided to venture into unknown waters, wanting to see what a whole new world was like, after all I do love exploring... So I hit up... wait for it... the Dollar Store! Sick Business, right? (okay, okay, it's no crazy jungle like the Amazon Rainforest, but still... there were all walks of life in this place!)

So yeah, the second I parked in the lot, I knew this was going to be a crazy experience and really, crazy is a calm word to use for the mass crowds running around the store as if they were all stocking their bomb shelters for fear that a bomb were to hit at any second (oh shit, did I just jinx something?)...

As for myself, I mosied along the aisles taking in the sights of brand name products being sold at one FLIPPING dollar! How on earth is this possible? It doesn't make any sense... and why don't more people shop at these stores. Actually I take that back, I really don't need to have a stampede of people coming at me as I pick up the *gasp* last extra large, vanilla scented body lotion the store has... I just want to shop with peace.

During my little wandering spree (Oh Emily, how I wish you were there with me), I couldn't help but have a thought in the back of my mind... that the store was filthy. Every thing that I touched, I knew I was introducing some sort of bacteria onto my body... but I just couldn't care enough because I mean... Tide, Colgate, Tresemee, Earth Bound Organics... ALL AT ONE DOLLAR - Screw the germs, I am going in!

I walked out of that store... $8 down on two dish soap bottles, a few energy drinks (guilty pleasure), a cute little fake flower arrangment, hand soap and body wash. Eight bucks, really?!?!?! Little did I know, I picked up one other thing on the way out too... this ridiculous head cold I now have.

So the moral of this story? Screw it, go in for the "kill" save yourself a few bucks and purchase all your necessities at a dollar store, BUT beware!!! You might want to pick up some cold medication when you're there too...

Wolfie Wasn't Made to Pole Dance

No, Wolfie really wasn't made to pole dance and actually... he wasn't made to do anything in the exotic dancing department.

Wolfie is from a small town in Wyoming and his dream was to travel all around the west coast exploring and his dream did come true earlier this year... Colorado, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico and then California.

Unfortunately since landing in LA, he's only been traveling in a 10 mile radius and doesn't want to go any further because the traffic is quite intimidating and daunting at times. At the same time, he doesn't want to go home either because his neighbors encroach on his territory ALL THE TIME and they're not exactly the friendliest... ("Damn cab ass sticking out" - this is how Wolfie describes his neighbors)!

He knows that if he doesn't get out though he is just going to wind up pole dancing for the rest of his life because he doesn't think he is good enough to pursue anything else. (And getting a job in something more legit is rather difficult).

It's a little bit sad but at the same time I am not exactly telling him to do something different because I happen to really love LA and don't plan on leaving for quite some time.

I guess he is just going to have to suck it up... be the BEST DAMN POLE DANCER YOU CAN BE WOLFIE... I mean, common now, you already have the perfect name for the job!



Oh and by the way... Wolfie is my car and has been molested by all the ridiculous poles in parking lots, garages, etc around LA. Tee He He!

Easter Elephant!

So I went to the ZOO today and look at what I found?



His dream has always been to become an Easter Elephant. Looks like he is headed in that direction!


Would you eat his trunk first?


I wonder why his mouth is open...


Disclaimer: I didn't actually go to the ZOO today, FYI... Closed for Easter, who knew the animals celebrated this holiday!